I got to meet Amelia's new principal last week. I liked her. I got a good "vibe". She has read over the entire psych. evaluation and didn't seem phased by it. She said that she didn't see anything in that report that they couldn't handle. The advantage that they have is that their school is much smaller. Big isn't always better.
In the next few weeks, we will meet with her new teacher. I have every reason to believe that giving Amelia a fresh start is a good thing.
The idea that my kids will be separated this year is hard to grasp. It feels weird that they will be going to different schools. Our loyalties will be split. Different uniform, different schedule. There will be lots of adjustments for us this year, but, I have to believe it's all good.
In the mean time, we are enjoying the summer....lots of time in Aunt Frannie's pool, movies, popcorn, bike riding and of course the regular "I'm bored...I have nothing to do" moments!
Summer reading lists and math packets can wait for a few more weeks!
Monday, June 24, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
My Dad!
I remember him like it was yesterday. Sometimes when I'm in a large crowd, I think I hear his voice.
I used to dream about him a lot, in the early days after his death. I would usually wake up crying. Very weird feeling.
He visited me on my wedding day....while I was alone in the bride's room waiting to walk down the aisle. I was standing there, so nervous I thought I would faint! The florist had prepared some flowers for my hair, but the piece was too big. I was standing there wondering what everyone would think because I wasn't wearing a veil or any flowers in my hair. All of a sudden, I felt a tremendous warmth envelop me. In an instant, I knew! My dad was there, in that room, hugging me, loving me, telling me how proud he was of me, telling me he approved of this man I would vow to be with forever. I knew in the depth of my soul that my dad was with me that day. I cried. I talked to him. I told him I loved him....I thanked him for this gift he was giving me.
I think I might have floated down that aisle! I've not felt his presence like that since that day, almost 16 years ago.
I love him and miss him every bit as much now as I did on June 14, 1982. The pain never leaves you...not really. You learn to keep it up on a shelf...out of the way. But it's always there.
There is a song, by Bread called "Everything I Own". The emotion that comes when I hear this song is stifling....but I used to pretend that I was singing that song to my dad. It's funny because, it's my understanding that David Gates actually wrote the song for his father.
You sheltered me from harm.
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, Set me free
The finest years I ever knew
were all the years I had with you
I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own,
just to have you back again.
You taught me how to love,
What it's all, what it's all.
You never said too much,
but still you showed the way,
and I knew from watching you.
Nobody else could ever know
the part of me that can't let go.
I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.
Is there someone you know,
you're loving them so,
but taking them all for granted.
You may lose them one day,
someone takes them away,
and they don't hear the words you long to say
I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.
Just to touch you once again
Happy Father's Day, Daddy! I love you and miss you so much. Someday, we will be together again.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Tropical Storm Andrea
Living in Florida has it's benefits but I can tell you that Hurricane Season is NOT one of them. The season lasts from June 1st through November 30th. During that time, I spend an extraordinary amount of time watching weather reports. I'm hooked on Accuweather, Weatherunderground, and of course, the National Hurricane Center.
Every year there is at least one storm projected to come right for us. Thankfully, most of them swerve out to sea and don't bother anybody. Once in a blue moon, a storm is forecast to hit the east coast of Florida and panic sets in! Roads are clogged with evacuations, shelters are open and Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel shows up at Jacksonville Beach (this is never a good sign)!
The last time a hurricane came close enough to cause a bunch of chaos was Hurricane Floyd in 1999. One year, I think it was 2004, we had several give us a hard time (Bonny, Charley, Frances and Gaston). Since then, we've been "brushed" a few times but more recently, we've had a direct hit by tropical storms. I consider tropical storms to be mini hurricanes. The only difference is the wind speed. Last year was Tropical Storm Beryl. We lost power with that one, although, if a semi drives by my house really fast we lose power!
At the end of last week, we had Tropical Storm Andrea pay us a visit! She was the first named storm of the season. To tell you the truth, I didn't pay much attention this time. They weren't forecasting a particularly gnarly wind storm, just lots of rain. I wasn't even alarmed when I saw this image on our local weather radar:
I even shared this photo on Facebook and made the comment that I thought it looked like a comma! I still wasn't worried. They weren't going to open any shelters and there were no businesses or schools closing. Again, I didn't think much of it.
The night it was supposed to cross right over Jacksonville, it rained off and on. If it was windy outside, I didn't hear it and our power stayed on the whole time. Dan and the girls went to bed at their normal times. Nathan and I stayed up late watching a movie. At one point, we heard a loud noise outside. It sounded like a transformer had blown. We both went to the front door to check it out. We even went outside. Nothing. There wasn't even any noticeable wind.
So, imagine my surprise when I went to get in the car to go to work the next morning and saw this:
Great! Just what we needed. The huge branch was lying by the side of the car. I guess this was the sound that we had heard the night before. Crap.
The car insurance does not cover side windows or the back windshield. What??? How was that allowed to become a rule? We called around and can have the window replaced for about $460. Our deductible was $500 so either way, we would have had to pay for it ourselves.
As we were cleaning up the glass and tree fragments, we noticed something else....take a closer look:
The tip of the branch hit directly on the window frame. It is noticeably bent. If it had hit a few inches down, it would have just been a nice dent in the trunk. If we have the glass replaced without fixing the frame, the new window will leak...probably into the trunk. This would be awful! Imagine the mold and mildew that would grow! Ick!
So now, we are checking with the homeowners insurance because to have the frame replaced will be an extra expense and probably take it significantly over the $500 mark. Sigh.
So now we are down to one vehicle (again). They can't fix the window until at least Wednesday. This means Dan has to take me to work...take the kids to camp, and then go to work himself...just to do it all over again in the opposite direction to pick everybody up.
So you see, my friends, there are some definite drawbacks to living in Florida! The weather is not the only thing on my list of reasons why I don't like living in Florida....but it's in the top 5!
Every year there is at least one storm projected to come right for us. Thankfully, most of them swerve out to sea and don't bother anybody. Once in a blue moon, a storm is forecast to hit the east coast of Florida and panic sets in! Roads are clogged with evacuations, shelters are open and Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel shows up at Jacksonville Beach (this is never a good sign)!
The last time a hurricane came close enough to cause a bunch of chaos was Hurricane Floyd in 1999. One year, I think it was 2004, we had several give us a hard time (Bonny, Charley, Frances and Gaston). Since then, we've been "brushed" a few times but more recently, we've had a direct hit by tropical storms. I consider tropical storms to be mini hurricanes. The only difference is the wind speed. Last year was Tropical Storm Beryl. We lost power with that one, although, if a semi drives by my house really fast we lose power!
At the end of last week, we had Tropical Storm Andrea pay us a visit! She was the first named storm of the season. To tell you the truth, I didn't pay much attention this time. They weren't forecasting a particularly gnarly wind storm, just lots of rain. I wasn't even alarmed when I saw this image on our local weather radar:
The night it was supposed to cross right over Jacksonville, it rained off and on. If it was windy outside, I didn't hear it and our power stayed on the whole time. Dan and the girls went to bed at their normal times. Nathan and I stayed up late watching a movie. At one point, we heard a loud noise outside. It sounded like a transformer had blown. We both went to the front door to check it out. We even went outside. Nothing. There wasn't even any noticeable wind.
So, imagine my surprise when I went to get in the car to go to work the next morning and saw this:
The car insurance does not cover side windows or the back windshield. What??? How was that allowed to become a rule? We called around and can have the window replaced for about $460. Our deductible was $500 so either way, we would have had to pay for it ourselves.
As we were cleaning up the glass and tree fragments, we noticed something else....take a closer look:
So now, we are checking with the homeowners insurance because to have the frame replaced will be an extra expense and probably take it significantly over the $500 mark. Sigh.
So now we are down to one vehicle (again). They can't fix the window until at least Wednesday. This means Dan has to take me to work...take the kids to camp, and then go to work himself...just to do it all over again in the opposite direction to pick everybody up.
So you see, my friends, there are some definite drawbacks to living in Florida! The weather is not the only thing on my list of reasons why I don't like living in Florida....but it's in the top 5!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Carpe Kairos
Do you ever feel as though time is just zooming by? Sometimes, I do. Sometimes, I feel as though I just want to get off of this roller coaster ride of life. Sometimes, I just want to stop and smell the roses, but I either don't have time or if I do have time, I'm too flipping tired!
I read a really wonderful post today from Glennon at Momastery. She uses the analogy of climbing Mt. Everest to parenting children. Oh my, this SO hits the nail on the head.
I highly recommend reading her blog post! I feel like I can breathe again. Thank you, Glennon!
Click HERE to read it. Enjoy your weekend!
I read a really wonderful post today from Glennon at Momastery. She uses the analogy of climbing Mt. Everest to parenting children. Oh my, this SO hits the nail on the head.
I highly recommend reading her blog post! I feel like I can breathe again. Thank you, Glennon!
Click HERE to read it. Enjoy your weekend!
Friday, June 7, 2013
Some answers.
We finally have some answers. I feel relieved and overwhelmed at the same time.
Dan and I met with the neuro-psychologist yesterday morning. I was sick to my stomach for several hours beforehand. I think it was the culmination of all that's happened this year and I was so on edge I thought I might burst! It was truly an effort to keep it together.
They tested Amelia for a number of things....Intellectual Functioning, Verbal/Linguistic Abilities, Visual Perceptual Functioning, Attention/Impulse Control/Executive Functioning, Sensorimotor Domain, Memory Domain, and Social Perception. She used terms like NEPSY II, BASC2, and WISC IV. All very confusing and overwhelming.
Thankfully, Dr. J. explained everything and I think we have a grasp of what we're dealing with. She listed 4 main issues that she has diagnosed her with. They are: Reading Disorder, Cognitive Disorder, Mood Disorder and Disruptive Behavior Disorder.
She went into detail about each one and explained exactly where her weaknesses are. I had never heard the term "executive functioning" before. She told us that difficulties with executive functioning can present in children as problems with impulse control, organization of time and materials, emotional modulation, and task completion. These are exactly what she's struggled with all year long! She also said that in a lot of cases, these type of kids are monitored constantly, told to stop doing things or to go and do other things. As a matter of fact, she said that Amelia may try to do the right thing, but she's just unable to do so and this frustration is was leads to oppositionality. Sometimes the social difficulties that she has can lead to her failing to notice things going on and so she misses the cues about how to behave and how not to behave, as well as acting before thinking which is something she does a lot!
When it came to her reading skills, she said that Amelia had some difficulties with verbal/language skills such as phonological awareness, lexical access and oral motor control. Now honestly, I've never even heard the words phonological or lexical before, but she explained that basically, she has trouble reading some words but when those same words were read to her, she was immediately able to give the correct meaning.
So where do we go from here? Well, the psychologist provided us with pages and pages of recommendations. Some of them included things that I've thought should be provided to Amelia from the very beginning. Sadly, the school/teachers have no clue how to handle a child like Amelia. I am not a professional teacher...I am a mom and some of these recommendations are just COMMON SENSE things! Why is it like getting an act of Congress for the school to get on board? Here are some recommendations that she suggested:
Anyway, I'd better end this post now because I am beginning to feel the heat of anger creeping up again and I want to LET THIS GO! I can't live with the resentment that I've encountered over this. I don't want it. While I can't change what happened (or didn't happen) at school, I can change what happens at home. Our attitude with Amelia can set the tone for an entire day. We have to be more mindful of what we say to her and how we say it. THAT is going to be my focus for the summer. We will begin regular therapy sessions with Amelia on July 1st. We will get a better handle on the medication situation and will work on a detailed plan for next year.
Although it might not seem like it, I am relieved. We know more now than we did before and we are on the right track. I am so thankful for the friends and family that have supported us through this process. We couldn't have done it without you!
Dan and I met with the neuro-psychologist yesterday morning. I was sick to my stomach for several hours beforehand. I think it was the culmination of all that's happened this year and I was so on edge I thought I might burst! It was truly an effort to keep it together.
They tested Amelia for a number of things....Intellectual Functioning, Verbal/Linguistic Abilities, Visual Perceptual Functioning, Attention/Impulse Control/Executive Functioning, Sensorimotor Domain, Memory Domain, and Social Perception. She used terms like NEPSY II, BASC2, and WISC IV. All very confusing and overwhelming.
Thankfully, Dr. J. explained everything and I think we have a grasp of what we're dealing with. She listed 4 main issues that she has diagnosed her with. They are: Reading Disorder, Cognitive Disorder, Mood Disorder and Disruptive Behavior Disorder.
She went into detail about each one and explained exactly where her weaknesses are. I had never heard the term "executive functioning" before. She told us that difficulties with executive functioning can present in children as problems with impulse control, organization of time and materials, emotional modulation, and task completion. These are exactly what she's struggled with all year long! She also said that in a lot of cases, these type of kids are monitored constantly, told to stop doing things or to go and do other things. As a matter of fact, she said that Amelia may try to do the right thing, but she's just unable to do so and this frustration is was leads to oppositionality. Sometimes the social difficulties that she has can lead to her failing to notice things going on and so she misses the cues about how to behave and how not to behave, as well as acting before thinking which is something she does a lot!
When it came to her reading skills, she said that Amelia had some difficulties with verbal/language skills such as phonological awareness, lexical access and oral motor control. Now honestly, I've never even heard the words phonological or lexical before, but she explained that basically, she has trouble reading some words but when those same words were read to her, she was immediately able to give the correct meaning.
So where do we go from here? Well, the psychologist provided us with pages and pages of recommendations. Some of them included things that I've thought should be provided to Amelia from the very beginning. Sadly, the school/teachers have no clue how to handle a child like Amelia. I am not a professional teacher...I am a mom and some of these recommendations are just COMMON SENSE things! Why is it like getting an act of Congress for the school to get on board? Here are some recommendations that she suggested:
- Long projects should be broken into chunks with time frames for completing each chunk.
- Ask Amelia to identify ways she would like to organize herself.
- This one cracked me up because I SUGGESTED THIS to her teacher a number of times...but I was IGNORED: Amelia should have one notebook in which all assignments are recorded. The teacher should be asked to check assignments at the end of each day to insure they were recorded properly and that the necessary materials to complete the assignments are packed in her book bag. The teacher should insure that the due date for each assignment is written at the top of each page. No, her teacher could not be bothered with this task. I can't even tell you how many times Amelia came home without her homework written down. It was infuriating sometimes.
- If needed, it can help if two copies of each textbook should be provided. Wow, now that's rocket science! If she forgot her book, we couldn't do her homework at all. I'd have to call a friend to get her to take a picture of the page in the book and then text it to me! How's that for resourcefulness?
- Fewer problems/questions on worksheets and/or creating boxes next to each question will allow Amelia to check it off as it is answered.
- Here's the kicker one for me: It is perfectly reasonable and justified to give Amelia shorter class and homework assignments, just as it is reasonable to give superior students more tasks that are complicated. I can't tell you how many times it was said to me, "Well, we can't treat her differently than any of the other students...her assignments have to be the same"....blah, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, I'd better end this post now because I am beginning to feel the heat of anger creeping up again and I want to LET THIS GO! I can't live with the resentment that I've encountered over this. I don't want it. While I can't change what happened (or didn't happen) at school, I can change what happens at home. Our attitude with Amelia can set the tone for an entire day. We have to be more mindful of what we say to her and how we say it. THAT is going to be my focus for the summer. We will begin regular therapy sessions with Amelia on July 1st. We will get a better handle on the medication situation and will work on a detailed plan for next year.
Although it might not seem like it, I am relieved. We know more now than we did before and we are on the right track. I am so thankful for the friends and family that have supported us through this process. We couldn't have done it without you!
Monday, June 3, 2013
Something Positive
Last Wednesday, I received a very nice email from Amelia's first 3rd grade teacher inviting her to the class party on the last day of school. She said that she had been preparing her end of the year gift bag and wanted to make sure that she got it. She also said Amelia could come without a parent. Really? Now, just a few days earlier, I was specifically told that she could not come unless she was accompanied by a parent. Why the switch? I have absolutely no idea.
Dan and I debated whether or not it was the right thing to send her but when it came down to it, she wanted to go and since we had made the decision to put her in a different school next year...we thought she should go to say goodbye to some of her classmates.
I think it ended up being a positive experience for her. They watched a movie, went to the awards ceremony and had their class party. She said she had a good time. Her gift bag had an autograph page where each of her classmates signed their name, several pictures of her from different activities throughout the year, and a nice note from Mrs. J.
The night before, Amelia wrote a note to several teachers and one front office person. It was really sweet. I helped her with spelling but I let her write what she wanted to write. I told her to write what was in her heart...and I must say, she has a BIG heart. She does not hold a grudge, she does not focus on the negative experiences.. She absolutely adores all of the teachers that she has come in contact with this year. Even those two little girls that have been so mean to her all year long....she calls them "her friends". My daughter is a better person than me...in many ways.
She could teach me a few things about forgiveness, about letting things go, about love. She's impulsive, she can't sit still, she's demanding and defiant, she doesn't always tell the truth...but she is who she is. She forgives and forgets and she loves. She takes things at face value, she doesn't try to read hidden meaning in things. And while I wish her behavior was better, I love who she is, on the inside. I can tell you one thing, she WILL be successful in life. No doubt in my mind.
Dan and I debated whether or not it was the right thing to send her but when it came down to it, she wanted to go and since we had made the decision to put her in a different school next year...we thought she should go to say goodbye to some of her classmates.
I think it ended up being a positive experience for her. They watched a movie, went to the awards ceremony and had their class party. She said she had a good time. Her gift bag had an autograph page where each of her classmates signed their name, several pictures of her from different activities throughout the year, and a nice note from Mrs. J.
The night before, Amelia wrote a note to several teachers and one front office person. It was really sweet. I helped her with spelling but I let her write what she wanted to write. I told her to write what was in her heart...and I must say, she has a BIG heart. She does not hold a grudge, she does not focus on the negative experiences.. She absolutely adores all of the teachers that she has come in contact with this year. Even those two little girls that have been so mean to her all year long....she calls them "her friends". My daughter is a better person than me...in many ways.
She could teach me a few things about forgiveness, about letting things go, about love. She's impulsive, she can't sit still, she's demanding and defiant, she doesn't always tell the truth...but she is who she is. She forgives and forgets and she loves. She takes things at face value, she doesn't try to read hidden meaning in things. And while I wish her behavior was better, I love who she is, on the inside. I can tell you one thing, she WILL be successful in life. No doubt in my mind.
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